Condition 2: Bish In Drag Day
by elffromspace
Summary: Silly skit in which Sango agrees to Miroku's question... under a condition. Lots of silliness and Crossdressing involved. (SangoMiroku)


Author's Note: I don't own these character.  
  
This fic comes from certain people (who won't be named) having a fetish for Dressing Bishes in Drag (and even more fun getting them out of it!) It comes from random chatter so forgive any flow problems and the complete and utter lack of plot.  
  
Thanks for Majo, Sharlene, Icka and the rest of the #Inu Yasha crew ^_^  
  
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Miroku smiles, fondling the hand of the latest village girl, "Will you bear my chi... Owwww!! Sango??" Miroku stares up at the woman on the other end of the boomerang that had just hit his head, "What was that for??"  
  
Sango twitches, "Don't you think that line has gotten a bit old, Hoshi- sama."  
  
"Aha! I know." Miroku smiles, "You're jealous aren't you? You wanted me to be asking you."  
  
Sango flamed, "I am NOT Jealous!!"  
  
"Then why are you so angry? Admit it, you want me." Miroku moves quickly and takes Sango's hands in his own, "Sango dear, Will you bear my child?"  
  
Sango twitches for a minute and Miroku begins wondering if he should be fleeing in terror, and then her expression fades into a mischievous smile that really did send shivers down his spine, "Under one Condition.." she smiles.  
  
Miroku grins and runs his hand up Sango's thigh, then back to his favorite spot, her butt. "Yes???"  
  
Sango whacks him again, "Make that two conditions. One: You get your hand off my butt until we're married!"  
  
Miroku obediently moves his hands off Sango's butt...and to her chest. *grope grope*  
  
Sango sweatdrops and grabs Miroku's hands off her breasts  
  
Miroku returns Sango's grip on his hands and pulls her closer. "Sango...I didn't know you cared."  
  
Sango sweatdrops "Do you want to hear my conditions or not?"  
  
"Of course, Sango" he backs off carefully, his hands twitching. "Now, what was condition number 2?"  
  
Sango grins back, perversely, "I want to dress you in drag!!!"  
  
Miroku blinks. "Why, Sango....I didn't know your tastes ran THAT way..."  
  
Sango blushes, "Well.. they don't really, but.. It seemed like fun, and I wanted to see if you'd do it."  
  
He smiles lazily/sexily. "Of course, I'd do ANYTHING for you..."  
  
Sango grins and pulls out a tight red sparkly dress, and a giant box of makeup and accessories.  
  
Miroku smirks and snags the dress out of Sango's hands. "I'll be right back."  
  
Sango looks wistful.. she half wanted to help him change  
  
Miroku-changing hums as he drops the robes and squeezes into the dress. Ah, tis uncomfortable, but for the chance of getting together with Sango, he doesn't mind a little bit of this (at least he didn't have to do the striptease!) Miroku-changing pulls the tie out of his hair and shakes his head before heading back out.  
  
Miroku walks over, swinging his hips a bit the way he remembered Sango doing... "How do I look?" he asked huskily.  
  
Sango grins seeing Miroku. "Well.... You're a bit .. flat.."  
  
Miroku pouts. "Well, You know I can't exactly help that, Sango..."  
  
Sango finds some rubber simulated breasts in her box of Bish In Drag Accessories and starts to pull them out and then stops thinking Miroku might like them TOO much. "Here, I've got some tissues.." Sango stuffs a tissue into Miroku's dress, feeling his chest up in the process. Sango grins.. time for a little revenge groping  
  
Shippo walks in, hair piled on top of his head and held up by ivory combs. He's wearing a creamy beige dress that hangs down to the ground. He holds a lacy parasol in hands covered by delicate fingerless lace gloves, and traces of mascara and lipstick are fairly obvious on his face. Shippo stops and poses, one hand on an outthrust hip. Fluttering his eyelashes, he says "How do I look?"  
  
Inu Yasha grumbled "Like an idiot, Shippo."  
  
"Awwwwww! You're just being mean because I'm ten times prettier than you could ever be, Inuyasha no baka." Shippo retorts cleverly. "No, a HUNDRED times. Stupid hanyou."  
  
Miroku-in-a-dress allows Sango to 'pad' his chest...all the while trying to keep his own hand from wandering to HER chest...  
  
Sango gives Miroku a *look* that clearly says "Touch it and be 'Castrated'"  
  
Inu Yasha sweatdrops, "What do you know about pretty, short guy.."  
  
Shippo pouts and walks around, twirling his little parasol.  
  
Miroku smiled nicely, obviously in a good mood at the thought of getting some later, "Shippo, I think you look lovely."  
  
Shippo squeals "Wai! Thanks Miroku!"  
  
Sango smiled at Shippo "Awww.. You're so Kawaii!!!"  
  
Shippo looked Miroku over, "You look pretty good, too, although I'm a lot more ladylike."  
  
Miroku-in-a-dress bats his eyelashes. "Do I really, Sango?"  
  
"I'm working on that Shippou. Wanna help with the makeup?" Sango grins.  
  
Miroku puckers up. It's not the same as kissing Sango, but having her put stuff on his face (also incidentally bending over him...*leer*) is worth it.  
  
Shippo snuggles up to Sango. "Sure! I'm guessing we're going for the cheap- wharf-whore look, based on the dress choice."  
  
Miroku shoots Shippo a look that says, "Where did you learn THAT, young kitsune?"  
  
Shippo leans over and smacks Miroku with a powder puff.  
  
Miroku-in-a-dress sneezes.  
  
Sango laughs and then stuffs a few more tissues into Miroku's dress.  
  
Shippo roots through Sango's bag o' accessories and holds up a tube of lipstick.  
  
Shippo reads the label. "Whore of Babylon Red. This'll be perfect!"  
  
"Hmm.. Do you think the Cheap Whore look will go with his hair, or do we need a wig?" Sango pondered.  
  
Miroku pouts prettily at Sango. "Sango, you don't like my hair? I even let it down for you..."  
  
Shippo clutches his chin and studies Miroku thoughtfully. "What do you have in a blonde?"  
  
Miroku-in-a-dress spies the only male of the group not yet in feminine clothing. "Inuyasha, what are you doing, still in those clothes?"  
  
"Shippo, I think I can handle Miroku-chan here.." (Miroku leers. Yes, let Sango-chan take care of me) "Wanna go take care of InuYasha? Here are some supplies." Sango hands Shippo a box with several other dresses and the rubber breasts.  
  
Miroku-in-a-dress pouts. "Why didn't you let me have the rubber breasts, Sango?"  
  
Sango takes the Whore of Babylon Red Lipstick from Shippo and leans towards Miroku. "No. You are Not going to play with rubber breasts. Now pucker up."  
  
Miroku-in-a-dress pouts.  
  
Sango leans forward as seductively as possible.  
  
Miroku-in-a-dress leans back a bit, THEN puckers up. *Hehe, let Sango lean over him, ooh, boy*  
  
EvilKagome enters the scene, looks at Miroku, then does the Evil Naraku Laugh (tm). She then grins evilly at Inuyasha. "Strip, boy!"  
  
Inu Yasha cringes "Boy?"  
  
Shippo lugs his box to where Kagome is, and gives Inuyasha a triumphant look. "Baka, it's Bish in Drag night. Then again, you're ugly enough you might not qualify."  
  
EvilKagome leers, "Strip or 10 consecutive S-words!"  
  
Shippo throws himself into Kagome's arms, dropping the parasol and puckering up. "Don't I look good, Kagome?"  
  
EvilKagome smiles, :You look GORGEOUS, Shippou! You should crossdress more often!"  
  
Inu Yasha glares at Kagome, then begins to remove his robe.  
  
Shippo gives Kagome a big smacking kiss. "I was going to dress like you, but my tail messed up the skirt."  
  
Sango intentionally lets her chest dangle tempting him, and prepares to punish him if needed.  
  
Miroku-in-a-dress feels his hands twitch.  
  
Miroku-in-a-dress is trying to not be obvious about staring at Sango's chest...  
  
Sango holds out the lipstick, jiggling a bit as she reaches out to apply it to his lips. Miroku's eyes jiggle a bit too... She knows EXACTLY where Miroku is staring, but will win either way.. Either Miroku gropes her and she can torture him more before bearing his child, or if he wins then.. *blush*.  
  
Miroku-in-a-dress fights to keep his hands still. Must endure...must....endureeeee!  
  
Sango smears the lipstick over Miroku's lips and then sets it aside and reaches for the eyeliner, leaning a bit farther over him in the process than may be entirely necessary. Miroku is sort of glad for the chance to close his eyes and not be tempted to grope her.  
  
"Now.. A WIG!! Which wig do you want?" Sango rummages around pulling out several wigs.  
  
Miroku-in-a-dress pouts a bit at Sango. "You don't like my hair?"  
  
"Well it's pretty nice for a guy.. But definitely not girly enough."  
  
Miroku-in-a-dress pouts.  
  
Sango holds up a pink curly wig, "Which color do you like? Pink? Purple?" holds up another wig what looks rather Xellossy.  
  
Miroku sulks "I think the purple one is okay..."  
  
Sango pins the wig to Miroku's head, "Ok, now all we need are some high heels and then you can wear this in front of all the village girls!"  
  
Miroku-in-a-dress blanches. "In front of the village girls?"  
  
"Of course. Where else would you wear it?" Sango grins evilly, "We want them ALL to see how lovely you look right now."  
  
"Bu..but Sango!" Miroku tries desperately to think of an escape, "I'm wearing this only for you!"  
  
"No, no it just wouldn't be right of me to be greedy. I want everyone to see it"  
  
Miroku shakes head. "Nooo! Only for you, Sango, and no one else..."  
  
"Aww.. that's too bad.. I suppose I can't bear your child after all.."  
  
Miroku chokes.  
  
Sango gets up sadly. "I suppose there's no reason for me to stay here." Sango gives Miroku a very nice view of her butt as she gets up.  
  
Miroku shudders. "Sango... letsgototown."  
  
"Alright!" Sango beams triumphantly, "Don't forget your shoes." She hands him some read strappy shoes with 4 inch heels.  
  
Miroku-in-a-dress stands up and puts on the shoes... and totters a bit... "These...*totter totter* are a bit...hard...*totter* to ....whoooa!" Miroku- in-a-dress trips and falls into Sango! Miroku-in-a-dress finds his face planted somewhere VERY pleasant...  
  
Sango twitches and then straightens him up. "Miroku... you may want to remember Condition 1."  
  
Miroku feigns innocence, "It's these shoes, Sango. They're hard to walk in."  
  
"Not my problem. Just keep walking." Sango allows Miroku to take her arm for support. "Ahhh.. Here's the village!" She waves at all of the villagers who have gathered and are staring, "Hi Girls!!"  
  
Miroku blanches as the girls cover their mouths and start to giggle. Is that really the guy who was hitting on them earlier?? Miroku smiles weakly and prays to Buddha that this will be worth it.  
  
Sango is enjoying herself immensely... She's gonna be damned sure that none of these girls will still be willing to sleep with Miroku... and then she'll make it up to him. "Hoshi-sama, don't you have anything to say to all of the girls?" Miroku totters a bit, still unsteady on the high heels.  
  
The girls giggle louder and point.  
  
"Hello ladies. *weak grin* As great as Sango's skills are, I'm afraid I'm still not nearly as beautiful as any of you." Miroku-in-a-dress sighs... He wonders how badly he'd be slapped by Sango if he tried groping any of them...  
  
"You're such a joker, Hoshi-sama," one of the girls giggles back.  
  
Sango notices Miroku's stare and her grip on his arm tightens to the somewhat painful point. "Oh, thank you Miroku, I tried my best to help knowing how *badly* you wanted to look so pretty!"  
  
Miroku manages another weak almost smile. He whispers, "Sango, can we go now? Please?"  
  
Sango whispers back, "What are you impatient for what comes next? Don't worry, the more you suffer now the better it will be after.."  
  
Miroku-in-a-dress REALLY hopes that this is worth it...  
  
Sango parades Miroku along through the village, waving cheerfully at the girls and trying not to laugh at the look on Kaede-obaasan face.  
  
Miroku-in-a-dress totters some more and contemplates revenge  
  
Sango finds all too soon that they've reached the far end of the village and there are no more girls to embarrass Miroku with. She sighs.. "Well, I guess it's time to get you out of that dress..."  
  
Miroku-in-a-dress sighs with relief. "And the shoes too? They hurt."  
  
Sango giggles, "Ok, you can take the shoes off, and then we can look for somewhere more... private... to deal with the dress."  
  
Miroku-in-a-dress perks up, then smiles. "By all means, let us go then!" He kicks off the shoes and picks them up, now in a MUCH better mood...*smirk*  
  
Sango looks around and finds a Small Cozy Cabin of Lemoness, right on the outskirts of town. The cabin is set among some trees in a lovely garden and just far enough that no one will overhear.  
  
Miroku-in-a-dress grins. "Now, Sango...about getting out of this dress..."  
  
Sango pulls Miroku along to the door of the Small Cozy Cabin (tm)  
  
Miroku-in-a-dress follows, throwing off wig in the process and groping Sango a bit, hoping that she'll forget condition #1.  
  
Sango decides to heck with Condition 1, he let off for long enough, and begins De-Dragging Miroku. 


End file.
